the Red Heart

i hate being asked over and over and over again to play poker. i don't like cards, or games that involve gambling and numbers i can't memorize. i don't want to be around
chain smokers or big bottles of booze. today i feel like i am holding onto a thin, gossamer strand of hope and i shant do anything to let go into a sadness that would send me to North Carolina on the next plane out of Flagstaff.
i'd rather spend one minute with a friend who understands than an evening with folks who don't. not liking ghosts of people today.
i might very well pay for this attitude later. Don't give up on me friends, little miss sunshine will return.