29 August, 2008

The Farm Journal






I spent the morning drinking earl grey and reading Rolling Stone magazine on Dad's lumpy futon sofa. Reading about the upcoming B. Pitt film where he ages backwards made me think about how funny it is that I feel the same way sometimes. Like that I am moving in the opposite direction as the way it goes.

I grew up in the ultimate "new age" atmosphere. Moving from Athens, Georgia to Sedona, Az as a 4 year old placed me on the frontier of alternative lifestyles at an early age. Nude potlucks, meditations and HUUUU chants filled my childhood, while Dad listened to acid rock on his turntable, his ears all muffed up with earphones the size of bagels.

I've seen past life regressions, tried to love my inner child,watched a friend channel, been led on silent vision quests, watched people put their energy into others, and watched the empty facade of self love topple over into rampant vampirism.
I rebelled, and became Christ centric. Christian.

Anne insisted the era would be compared to Madonna's Kaballah phase.

My parents spent long distance minutes trying to convince me that I was simply aligning with my male aspect of my psyche. That sounded too intellectual for me to digest.. I sought a physical, visceral, human experience of being alive.
A personal experience that didn't hinge on relativism and paunch privilege.
Funny enough I began taking an aerobics class at a community center in the "black" neighbor hood of Asheville. The sisters and me stood around in a circle before and after class praying to the Lord that he would protect us from eating super size fries and chocolate cake. I had found myself in the middle of an exercise for Jesus class, and I liked it. I dug the earnest desire found in such a simple action.
This led to sensual Jesus dreams and a funny phase of asceticism & self denial that I am still aiming to rebuke.

A long story to a short paragraph. I believe that there is no such truth as reincarnation. It would defeat the other popular concepts of "being here now" "Law of Attraction" and from what I am shy to profess, quantum physics.

To be continued after lunch.

3 comments:

Patrick Bollinger said...

Ah so familiar and the thoughts that have been crossing my mind lately. I think there is a connection between quantum physics and the soul. hmmm, deep thoughts methinks.

~P

Anonymous said...

hey patrick! I have been reading about the Hebrew alphabet and how it is used strongly as code throughout our bodies and creation.
my biggest wondering is how one could ever be present AND consider "ast " anything.

Ellen said...

YES!